Perhaps the most meaningful thing about recovery -for me- is that fact that “I am not alone”. Throughout the ups-and-downs of the 20 plus years I have walked this journey, I have regularly attended recovery meetings. They have always been a safe place where I can honestly express how I feel without judgement or interruption.
There have been dark times and happy times. I haven’t done recovery perfectly at all. In fact, many times I have felt like such a slow learner, not even able to keep hold of the basic tenets of the program. However, in the “big picture” the steps and the fellowship has been a source of great healing and comfort.
Personally, I think the only thing worse then some of the horrid darkness that I have walked though in times past is walking through it alone. Since I got into recovery, I have never had to walk alone. There have always been meetings I could attend and tell my happy or sad truth.
Furthermore, I never felt like I belonged anywhere. I either felt better or worse than everyone. In SLAA, I have learned that I am not unique. I am just another “Bozo on the bus”. A garden variety addict.
I always gain something from other peoples shares. Sometime resonates as true and I feel connected and not alone.
To those who are struggling alone in your darkness… I hope you gather the courage to come to the meetings… share your truth… be open to hear others. There is hope. You never need be alone again.